New year, old issues

Posted on January 3, 2012 by ruthek

We’ve been trying not to think about this week; now it’s finally here. Robin and Steve go to New York today. On Wednesday she’s scheduled for a few last tests; Thursday she will have the bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction in a ten hour operation. I’m going to New York on Wednesday and will stay with her for as long as she remains in the city. If you don’t remember the why of all this, you can read it here. For more info about the BRCA genes and mutations, just Google.

I don’t intend to write about Robin. It’s her story if she wants to tell it, I will write about my role and my reactions. I find it almost unbearable when she has to have something done to her. It’s much easier for me to deal with bodily invasions of my own, than watching her undergo anything. There was a bad appendicitis when she was ten, then awful oral surgery–all very difficult. I just keep my face under control. So I have been unhappy all last month and will continue at least until Thursday night when the surgery part will be over.

I’m almost all packed, paid all my bills, or argued about a couple of them. Nothing like calling the hospital and asking what the charge is all about. Stopped the mail and sent my orchid to a good home (it was given to me last week) and arranged with a neighbor for a ride to the bus tomorrow. I’ll try to keep blogging.

Two days in Scranton

Posted on July 31, 2011 by ruthek

We came to Scranton for a family reunion for Steve's family, of which I am part. They adopted me. Visiting with the family has been great. In addition to spending time together we went to a coal mine tour–really fascinating in a gruesome way. This is the second coal mine tour I've taken. Both times I have constantly wondered about the conditions in Ireland and Eastern Europe that made people come here and take jobs in those mines. How horrible could those conditions have been, when it is preferable to work in an occupation where you would most certainly become ill for the rest of your life if you were not rescued by an early death. Children, as young as seven were sent to work in life-risking situations. Mules used to move the coal filled train cars were more valuable than the children. We forget the terrible working conditions that prevailed during the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, and how much labor unions have done to improve things for workers, although, as mine explosions in Chile and West Virginia have shown during the last year, the unions have not done enough.

Going down into the mine and watching the light disappear.

Coming out of the train in the mine.

Our tour guide telling us about conditions in the mine.

Think about walking around down here with only the light from a lantern attached to a hat you were wearing. Then drill into the coal, set black powder or dynamite and run away before the charge explodes.

A moving week

Posted on June 12, 2011 by ruthek

With the date for my exit from my apartment rapidly approaching I'm feeling increasing pressure to find another place to live. I've spent most of the last week looking at apartments, without finding anything that makes me happy. My requirements are, first, size. I want two bedrooms. Second, location: I want some place interesting to walk to or about. Of course, affordability is very important, but there seem to be lots of places I could afford, or almost afford. Third is resale potential. This might not be the last place I will live.

I found a great condo I can almost afford in a building I don't want to live in. Location is OK, but not the greatest. I will have to get a mortgage, which I'm not sure I want to do.

A co-op building near Pitt and CMU has a number of empty apartments, several of which I like. The location would be great and the apartments are cheap reasonably priced. I kept wondering why they were so hard to move and finally got an answer. Co-op rules require you to pay cash for the asking price, have an additional $100,000 in the bank and have an income four times the monthly maintenance, about $4000/month. I can't meet the income requirement, and I suspect few people who might want one of those apartments have that kind of income.

I think a case could be made about discrimination against elders, however I think the rule was made to keep parents from buying their student children an apartment, another kind of discrimination.

I owned a co-op apartment in New Jersey and swore I would never do it again. This brings it all back to me. Too bad; one of those apartments would be ideal.

So I'm still looking. I won't be homeless: worst case, I put my stuff in storage and move in with Robin and Steve until I find something.

More from Chicago

Posted on June 2, 2011 by ruthek

Sunday and Monday were family days. My family grows smaller each year, and sometimes that's hard to watch. Mostly it was fun to see everyone.

Tuesday I had an early blood test downtown (this can be done anywhere), then spent most of the remainder of the morning wandering around the Cultural Center. This is my favorite place in the city. The building is fabulous with Tiffany domes and amazing glass mosaics. They usually have excellent art exhibits, performances, a good cafe, a special gallery for seniors with computer access and more art exhibits, usually by seniors, but with no sacrifice in quality. I met B at a blues performance by the Mississippi Heat. It would have been wonderful if they had skipped the microphones, but I had to leave in the middle because the sound was so loud. I rmoved my hearing aids, but this time it didn't help.

Here are two large banners from the performance space:

After lunch we went over to the Art Institute to look at Japanese art. I'm sure you knew I would do that. Tuesday evening I had dinner with Eli, Charna and Adele, who has become a new member of the family. We ate at a Vietnamese place, then walked around until it was time to move the car. Parking regulations are a real pain here: Ordinary street spaces cost $1.50/hour and there are many arcane rules about loading zones, no parking zones, etc.

Wednesday we spent the day at the Chicago History Museum, a rather nostalgic bit, but most of the exhibits are from before my time.

The week that was

Posted on April 21, 2011 by ruthek

Last Wednesday I took the Megabus to Philadelphia. Except for the fact that there's no way to get up and walk around, it's a decent way to travel. Of course, they leave before dawn, which meant I had to get up at 4:30, but it was OK. I met Renee in Philly and we went to the Chagall exhibit at the Museum of Fine Art. Very nice. We also walked around South Street; went to the Magic Garden, Reading Market, and Eastern State Penitentiary; staying overnight to do all of this.

Finally, exhausted, we got on another Megabus and went to New York, where I went to the Japan Society to see Bye, Bye Kitty, a really good exhibit put together before the earthquake, but entirely appropriate to the circumstance, and then spent time at the Met. I can't go to New York without spending time at the Met. Also went to visit friends who have just moved into a new apartment.

Robin and Steve drove in on Saturday and we had dinner with Steve's family: Renee, Michael and Rosemary. On Sunday Renee went to Boston to have a Passover Seder with Steve's sister, Robin and Steve moved to the apartment (musical apartments) and we had our Seder with friends in Teaneck. Our friends have a mixed marriage: he's Ashkenazi; she's Sephardi. The Seder is always a blend of their traditions, making it more interesting for us.

Now comes the bad part:

We were supposed to stay until yesterday morning, but I had a problem so my kids very kindly brought me back to Pittsburgh on Tuesday. Two weeks ago I had the implant inserted where my tooth had been pulled. It became infected, although I wasn't certain of it until Sunday. Monday morning I called the oral surgeon and got a perscription for an antibiotic, but it didn't seem to help. Feeling worse on Tuesday, with obvious swelling of my cheek, we drove back. Yesterday, I spent the morning back at the oral surgeon's. You don't want to know the details. I'm still swollen and not certain it's getting better. I am allergic to penicillin and tetracycline, and I've had bad side effects from levaquin. It makes it very hard for me to take antibiotics. They've been alternating between two arithromycins, but now they don't seem to be working. So I'm taking cipro, a levaquin-type, and keeping my fingers crossed.

Spring? update

Posted on March 29, 2011 by ruthek

It was 21 degrees when I got up this morning. The sun is shining, which is nice, but it hasn't warmed up very much. The groundhog lied, lied I tell you.

Otherwise things are OK. Robin's lab work was all negative, so we are very relieved. I do not have the BRCA mutation, for whatever that's worth. I still come from a family with lots of cancer. They just haven't found the proper label for us. The mutation is dominant, meaning you just need one copy of it. So it came from Robin's father's side of the family, which had lots of boys, so no one thought about it. Now they have to give it some thought–there are girls in my grandchildren's generation.

On Sunday I walked down to Forbes and Murray and back–almost four miles. Had a terrible night with lots of leg cramps. I want to get more exercise, but I guess I have to take it slower–three miles next time.

I would have been in Kyushu today if I had gone to Japan, far away from the radiation and other devastation. I think about it every day. I'm not sorry I didn't go. They don't need another old woman to evacuate, or to use up food and power. I hope next year will be better. I am so sad for all of those people who were unfailingly wonderful to me.

Robin’s Challah

Posted on March 19, 2011 by ruthek

One of the treats of my life is Robin's Challah every Friday night at Shabat dinner. I smell it when I come into the house, and it comes out of the oven just before we light candles and sit down to eat. It's amazing!

Last night she made a special challah, in honor of Purim this weekend, and I think in honor of being done with the surgery.

This challah is stuffed with onion and poppyseed. I behaved myself and only ate a couple of pieces, along with the rest of a very healthy, well-planned meal. But I think when I am 80 I will ask for a whole challah, just for me.

I wish I could give you a piece.

A story I am sorry to write

Posted on March 16, 2011 by ruthek

Sometime last year Eli, my grandson, spit into a vial and sent it off for a genetic profile. He reported the results to his mother: he did not have Tay-Sachs, the usual Jewish disease, but he did have a mutation on his BRCA1 gene, the mutation that predisposes for breast and ovarian cancer, found in 1 in 40 Jewish people. Neither Robin nor I thought through all of the implications of this announcement. We both filed it away in the back of our minds and did nothing about it.

In November, Robin mentioned it during her annual gyn checkup and the doctor insisted she do something about it. She and Steve went to a genetic counselor, then had the test. Robin had the same mutation as Eli, so was at very high risk for breast and/or ovarian cancer. Since ovarian cancer is very hard to detect until it is too late, she decided to have her ovaries and tubes removed. This was done on Monday, and except for terrible nausea from the anesthetic or subsequent pain killers, the surgery was easy, there was no obvious cancer, and she is recovering quickly. She also had an MRI, a more reliable test than a mammogram, that found no breast cancer.

This mutation is dominant; either parent can pass it on. It slightly increases breast cancer risk in men, and probably increases prostate cancer risk, but this is very high for long lived men, in any case.

We don't know whether the mutation came from me or from Robin's father. There is ample evidence on both sides of the family. I have spent most of my life waiting for the family cancer to hit. It was actually a relief when I got the heart disease. Last week I went for the test. It will be about two weeks before I know. I don't intend to have any prophylactic surgeries: after all, I have reached the age of 76 without any cancer. I'll probably be a little more diligent about mammograms.

As Robin's cousin said: " I still can't believe that all of this is going on because of some gene that they found out about because Eli sent a spit-sample in to some random lab. It's crazy." But maybe it saved her life.

For more (accurate) information go to the FORCE website: http://www.facingourrisk.org/index.php

Andy and me

Posted on February 10, 2011 by ruthek

We went to the Warhol Museum over the weekend with our visitors from New Jersey. It's not my favorite place, only rarely have I found things that interest me, but every visitor seems to want to see it. I was having a hard time explaining silk screens to one of our guests, so we all went downstairs to what they call the "weekend factory" where you can make a print from a silk screen. I also found that I could have my picture taken with Andy for only $2, a fantastic bargain considering he charged $25,000 to make your portait.

They stand you in front of a piece of green felt and you can see what the picture will look like on a monitor. The lights were in the wrong position for me, so I stood on a small stool, making me taller than Andy, but not as terrible as with the lights straight down at me. Here's the picture:

I think it looks like some of those 19th C. photos of ghosts, or astral projections. Of course, Andy is the ghost, but he looks more solid than I do. I would pay $5 to have Andy wearing one of those wild hairpieces and both of us in focus. Well, maybe the focus is too much to ask for.

Finally — THE PAPER

Posted on December 30, 2010 by ruthek

I was determined to have it posted before the end of the year, so, I'm feeling very pleased with myself. I made the first round of revisions, suggested by Steve, and I'm much happier with what I've done. I really needed his help. You can download the paper, as a PDF file under my picture in the sidebar. Or, you can see it online at a new blog I've started on WordPress. Visit it here. I'll be using that blog from time to time and let you know about it here.

100 Books Before I Die

Ruthe Karlin

Category Archives: Family