Did you miss me?

It wasn’t because I was lazy, although I am; I didn’t know what to write until I could tell you the outcome of this story. I’m not the same person I was a week ago. I have been changed forever, transformed.

While I was having such a good time in New York something else was happening to me, something that happened before but only briefly and with weeks between episodes. On Tuesday night, returning from the lovely visit with my friends, my heart started beating very hard and fast: palpitations, then several occurrences I had trouble describing: not vertigo, not lightheadedness, not really feeling faint, but feeling like the world tilted for a couple of seconds. One of the times this happened previously was just before I had a doctor’s appointment. The doctor gave me some instructions about it, but didn’t seem concerned—intermittent palpitations being hard to diagnose. The Tuesday night episode seemed a little worse than previously, but I decided to ignore it.

Most of my life when I’ve had something wrong, it’s gone away by itself, or it wasn’t very important—obviously all were aggravations I could live with. This time, although I wasn’t ready to acknowledge it, was different. Saturday morning I met City Mary. The plan was to see Indiana Jones, which could be the subject for a different post, go to lunch, then walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, that weekend being the 125th anniversary of its opening.

The palpitations began at lunch. Being in denial and convinced of my omnipotence, I didn’t say anything. We walked to the subway, down three flights of stairs to the express trains where I experienced a really bad world tilt, then up to Brooklyn Bridge Park where I told Mary the whole story. She had never walked across the bridge. The walkway was crowded; the bridge had gotten lots of publicity on this anniversary. I walked part way up, found a bench and waited for Mary to go to the actual bridge part. She did not go across, but came back to help me. This time I was really in bad shape, still in denial. We went back toward the apartment and I began to feel better. I considered going to an emergency room but decided it wasn’t a great place to be on a holiday weekend alone. I spent Sunday evening and all day Monday being quiet and very careful of what I ate. I wanted to get back to Pittsburgh before I saw a doctor.

Tuesday morning I took a taxi to the train station and finally called my doctor’s office to try to get in there first thing Wednesday. They advised me to go to an emergency room in NY, and if not, to go right to the emergency room when I got off the train. I opted for the train and spent most of the nine hours contemplating my mortality, thinking about how my life would change, all the things I would have to change–not easy. Of course, I still didn’t know what was wrong or what would happen.

The emergency room was a zoo, but they take people with chest pains very quickly. And are you thinking, she never said anything about chest pains? My chest did feel very heavy all day Monday, so let’s call that chest pains. I felt fine Tuesday, all Tuesday night and early Wednesday morning. I was beginning to wonder why I was there when, about 10:15 am, my heart started racing. The nurse came over and quickly took an EKG. About 10:30 the terrible tilt sensation came again, longer and worse than before. They told me afterward, my heart had stopped for about 8 seconds. Not too much later I was told I would be getting a pacemaker.

I’m writing this on Friday morning, pacemaker implanted, almost ready to go home. I think I will be able to resume most of my usual activities, although I don’t think I’ll be going to Chicago next week as planned. The worst part of it is that I am now a captive of the pharmaceutical industry for the rest of my life, something I’ve been trying to avoid.

Ronni Bennett wrote a post about elder adaptability; essentially how we all adapt to the changes in our bodies and our circumstances. I certainly think I have done that. I no longer run to catch buses, I know that my reflexes have slowed and take that into consideration when I drive. I’ve made a lot of adaptations for my poor vision. I could go on and on. The one thing I wasn’t willing to consider was poor health. My mother was a world-class hypochondriac and wasn’t willing to think about anyone else’s ailments. When I was sick I was doing it to her. Early on I learned to stay healthy, a habit I maintained until last week. So it really took me by surprise. I don’t go to doctors easily. This is the first time I’ve ever been to an emergency room for me. I don’t really know what constitutes an emergency or illness serious enough to go for immediate help. This whole thing has been a learning experience, but I don’t know if it will apply the next time.

Birthday day

Up at 7:30. Lazy day. 8 am, Julia calls–make plans–meet at Union Square. 8:15 am, Julia calls–not Union Square 3rd Ave, NW corner. 8:30 am, Julia calls–forgot Happy Birthday.
9 am, Carol calls, sings traditional family happy birthday. Very nice.
10:15, argue with myself about doing leg exercises. Finally do exercises.
11:30, shower and dress.
12: 30, leave apartment. Beautiful day, bright sunshine, cool breeze. Woman walking next to me asks, do I think we'll miss the construction fences from the Second Avenue Subway? She misses scaffolding when it comes down. Miss 3 buses. wait–wait–wait. Bus comes. Wheelchair goes in first. 20-30 people wait at each stop. Very slow bus–no hurry–fun people watching: mother and young girl with violin case; woman with huge thighs, makes me feel sylph-like; elder woman (like me) with 80's elegance (not like me)–gold rings, bracelets, large gold earrings, perfect large white-blond hair, makeup, white pants, navy-blue blazer with gold buttons, bright color print blouse. Tall elder man, head almost touches bus ceiling, waistline at my eye level. Another tall elder man, much shorter legs.
2 pm. Get off bus, walk to 1st Ave. to Theater for the New City festival. Very old building, interesting paintings on walls. Street fair on 10th St. Lots of old stuff for sale; more like antiques fair, but not antiques. No lunch yet. Find Tasti-D-lite on 3rd Ave. get small chocolate. Walk toward 14th St. Enter Trader Joe's. Julia calls. Keep meeting plan.
3 pm. Meet Julia. walk through 3rd Ave. street fair. Not very crowded. NYC empties out on holidays. Only tourist places are really busy, although Trader Joes was mobbed. Sit in Peter Cooper Park; continue talking. Watch homeless man sleeping on bench, another homeless man with shopping cart, couple making out, other couples eating, kid with toy sword running around, small altercation between young man who ran away. Peace prevailed. Typical New York.
4:30. subway to theater district. Renaissance Hotel to use facilities. Most beautiful wash basin ever. Picture to come. Walked slowly to restaurant for long dinner, mostly talk. Haven't seen Julia for a year. Never run out of talk.
7:30 Producers Club Crowne Theater. The elegant name makes up for the theater. early, of course. Nice sofa. Audience gathered. Actor delayed by subway. beTwixt, beTween, beTwain started late. Cute, but too long. Leave at intermission. Never feel need to tough it out.
10 pm. Thank you Julia. Subway home, lovely day.

A good week (and today is my birthday)

I've been too busy or too tired to continue writing all week. Spent most of my time with friends, and a few art shows during and in between. Wednesday morning I met Ellen at the natural history museum. We did a lot of talking, since I haven't seen her for about a year, and we saw the new exhibit about the horse. Thursday was a full day with Phyllis. First lunch at her place, a wonderful apartment on the West Side, then up to the botanic garden. Darwin's garden was fabulous; all of the colors and shapes were overwhelmingly gorgeous. We also saw a little of the Moore exhibit, but ran out of time and couldn't stay to see all of it. It's another reason to return to New York.

Back on the West Side, we returned the car to the garage, rested for half an hour, then went to dinner at a charming Japanese restaurant. New York is filled with sushi places, but this one was special, at 92nd and Amsterdam. After that a concert at Carnegie Hall with James Levine and the Met Orchestra. The first piece was by Elliott Carter, 100 years old and in the audience to take a bow. I guess being 100 is OK if you can be in such good shape and get that kind of recognition.

Friday I had coffee with Rose, lunch with Jean and dinner with C–a very rewarding day. Saw Mary Cassatt prints and drawings with Jean then went to the Japan Society before dinner. I often have mixed feelings about lacquer, but I loved most of this work by Zeshin. Along with wonderful boxes and trays they showed paintings he did with lacquer. Amazing stuff!

Met Tuesday

I can't believe I was actually in New York six days before I got to the Met. I saw the blockbuster, Courbet, when I was here last month. This time, walking toward the newly installed Oceania wing, I noticed the newest Costume Institute show, "Superheroes, Fashion and Fantasy," was relatively empty, so I walked in there first. These installations are often weird; this one certainly was. While I loved comic books, Superman and Wonderwoman, when I was a kid, I wasn't too keen on this show. Some of the fashions were intriguing; nothing you'd wear on the street.

I really enjoyed the new installation of material from New Guinea. Robin and Steve were there in the 1980's and I was able to go and visit them. I brought back a number of pieces from the Sepik River, some of which I'd like to sell. So I look at these museum exhibits with two ideas in mind: just enjoying them and how do they relate to what I own. I was told originally that the pieces had to be much older to have real value. The Met has many pieces dated to the 1970's. Can I be far behind?

After a quiet lunch I went to China, Japan, India and Korea. Those are the best galleries because they are usually quiet, not the crowded mess found in the more popular galleries.

I left the museum about 1 pm and went to the bus stop at 84th and Fifth Ave. After standing about 10 minutes I noticed there was no traffic emerging for the Park and on to 84th St. Even though I was tired and my feet hurt, I started walking; it's much easier than standing. Only after I got back near the apartment and made some purchases in a nearby deli, did the first bus show up. I'm glad I didn't wait.

In the evening I went to dinner in New Rochelle with friends and made a new friend: a woman who is going to Japan next October and wanted to hear about my trip. She's a lovely lady and I had a great time. I brought my book for show and tell. It's a great way to tell people about the trip

My New York Monday

Not prose, not a poem–just random jottings

A noisy place, my New York. Bright sunshine this morning, with thunder–or was that construction noise. Workmen in the hall, outside my door: hammering, talking, tools dropping. Building being renovated.

Walk outside–jack hammer, generator. Walk through the projects–street quiet–six buses hanging out. 3 cats in ASPCA window. If I look too long, one of them might be mine.

Got on the bus. Old man with walker–doesn’t want special lift–climbs stairs like a mountain. I understand.

Subway to Bowling Green: Custom House, George Gustav Heye Center, National Museum of the American Indian. One of my favorite places in NYC. Beautiful pieces–headless figures like Yinka Shonibare. Is there some meaning in headlessness? More reading, like NMAI in DC–too low–too small–too dark.

Walk down Broadway. Big crowd on the traffic island with the Wall Street bull. Greeks commemorating the Pontic Massacre in the early 20th Century.

Trinity Church: sculpture of tree roots in the courtyard.

Walking to Century 21 Department Store. Looks like storm coming. Happy to get inside, but very crowded. Julia called while I was trying on sneakers. Couldn’t talk, keep my seat, watch shoes I want to buy and old shoes I wore. Buy 2 pair, one pink and purple. Feet hurt.

More wind, a few raindrops–just spitting like Pittsburgh rain. Stopped at J&R Music and Computers. Saw Fujitsu, a tiny notebook at twice the price of the ASUS. Will probably buy the ASUS before I go to China. Getting hungry.

Walk under Brooklyn Bridge toward Chinatown, on East Broadway. Not familiar with street–too many people–need food–need to sit down. Turn on Division where I’ve been with Shirley Sun. Found buffet restaurant: 4 choices from enormous buffet plus rice: $4.50. Tofu, green beans, noodles, sesame chicken.

Crossed street to bakery: melon cake and lemon tea. Figaro cat loved melon cake from Chinatown in Chicago. Don’t know if he loved melon or crust part best. Sitting again. Bakery got very busy. Old woman sitting near me got up and quickly took a tart from behind the counter. I think she stole it.

Walked down Canal St. to the subway. One block of shops locked up by government order. Must have been knock-off headquarters. Back to apartment. Still working in the hall. Happy to sit again. Photos next week.

New York weekend

This was a weekend of contemporary art and Jewish culture, not together. On Thursday Renee and I went to Chelsea and looked at galleries for about two hours. We saw some lovely Japanese ceramics, although nothing extraordinary, an interesting exhibit of the work of Yinka Shonibare, and not much else I can remember. Our real reason for going to Chelsea was a performance at a comedy club.

Are you scratching your head wondering why we were going to a comedy club? Perhaps I should have done more head scratching before I ordered the tickets. The performance was the opening event in a festival called, "Jews and Power," written up as follows:

From Queen Esther to Jon Stewart, Jews have taken delight in skewing
the powers that be. Join us for an evening of political satire,
featuring standup by Jeff Kreisler ("Comedy Against Evil"), skits from
New York’s funniest Purim show ("The Shushan Channel"), a celebrity
reading from the upcoming film "Hebrew Hammer II," songs from "Nice
Jewish Girls Gone Bad" and "Good for the Jews," and much more.

I should have read it more carefully: I didn’t recognize any of the names except Jon Stewart, and he wasn’t part of it. We found some of it to be funny, but easily two thirds of it just didn’t resonate with us. We never heard of these people. This event, and the lectures I attended today, was sponsored by Nextbook, a group that promotes Jewish culture. I’m sure the comedy event was meant to attract young people. Unfortunately, most of the audience was over 50, as was today’s audience for much more serious discussions, about culture, assimilation, Israel and antisemitism, along with power, the need for it and our abdication of it. Very interesting, and much more interesting than the comedy club.

On Friday, my Jewish weekend included a movie, "Constantine’s Sword," a fascinating examination of antisemitism from a Christian point of view. I highly recommend it.

Saturday, the Sabbath, which should have been a Jewish day, was another day of art. I took the train up to Pelham to visit with old friends, and we went to Yonkers to an art studio open house. My friends knew two of the artists, a husband and wife team of photographers. They had a beautiful show of photos from China.

The artist studios are in an old building that was once the Alexander Smith Carpet Co, another manufacturer long gone. In addition to the artists we visited a piano restorer and got to see how they handle the innards of a piano, and a stained glass restorer. Both of those studios were really fascinating; well worth the trip.

After dinner we went for a walk on Glen Island, a part of New York that was entirely new to me. My weekend also included visits to two different street fairs. I’ll have some pictures and more to say about them when I return to Pittsburgh.

Another trip

San Francisco wasn’t enough for me. I stayed home long enough to do my laundry, look at the mail and get a haircut. Yesterday morning I boarded the train for New York. It’s a long trip, longer than driving, much longer than flying, assuming the flight is uneventful. The great part is that you leave and arrive in the middle of the city. I had a good book, some of the scenery is interesting and I could get up and walk around.

Renee is leaving for Spain on Saturday, so I get to stay here and watch the apartment until May 27. I’ve contacted most of my friends and made arrangements to see them, and I never get enough of the museums. Also, just found out there will be a show of Henry Moore sculpture at the botanic garden beginning on my birthday–a great present.

I’ve already been out for a walk and some shopping. One of the interesting things about New York is that things leave and new things take their place. There is now an eyebrow threading store on Second Ave. Look for that to be the next big thing–after you have your nails decorated you can go down the street and have your eyebrows threaded. In my mind, needle always goes with thread so I find the idea of threading my eyebrows disturbing, to say the least.

Thursday and Friday in SF

When I returned from the Ferry Terminal on Wednesday I walked through the Crocker GalleriaLibrary_5184
and discovered Andersen Bakery, which I was familiar with from Japan.  Returning there Thursday morning I bought, for my lunch, one of the stuffed breads I enjoyed in Japan: jalapeno and cheese. Thursday is farmer’s market day in the Galleria; I loved the bright red of the strawberries and tomatoes. Library_5176

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Back on the street I noticed a large sign: LIBRARY. I discovered the Mechanics Institute Library, organized in 1854 as a center for adult technical education. They had a show of old photographs about the history of the institute. The best part was their wonderful old building.
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I boarded one of the old streetcars and went to Fisherman’s Wharf. This was one of my favorite places when we lived here. It’s become very touristy and crowded, but strangely, the original part with the old restaurants and the fishing boats was relatively empty. I was happy to walk around alone.

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A gathering of noisy seals.

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Entry to one of the piers. I think we walked here years ago.

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Leaving the waterfront I started walking toward a bus to take me to Coit Tower and came upon Cost Plus Imports, another place dating back to my tenure in California. It was very exciting when we first found it–the only place selling exotic goods from around the world. There was no Pier One or Ten Thousand Villages. This was it, and I loved it. Just for nostalgia I went in and managed not to spend too much money. The woman at the check-out counter had worked there almost from the beginning; it was fun talking to her.

Finally arriving at Coit Tower Library_5228
I found a quiet place to sit and ate my lunch. There were lots of eucalyptus trees and I enjoyed the smell. Library_5205
Sometimes I don’t; maybe it has to do with time of year. I walked all around the tower, then went up into it and took more pictures. The city really does have a lot of concrete.

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I thought the huge bronze statue in the parking lot would be Lillie Hitchcock Coit, who donated the money to build the tower, Library_5227
but it turned out to be Christopher Columbus, designated, in large letters, as the discoverer of America. Lillie got short shrift on that one. I don’t know what Columbus had to do with it.

I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do on Friday. This was our last day. We were taking the redeye, so I had all day and no hotel to return to at 3 o’clock. None of the museums had compelling exhibits, but I finally decided to go to the de Young. I spent most of my time on a tour of carpets made in Turkmenistan. Good tour, but too much standing around. I found other kinds of entertainment at the museum.

This is some kind of fashion photo shoot. Library_5239
It involved lots of people. The model had 6 inch heels and must have been 7 feet tall. Note where her waistline comes. Library_5243
And get the crazy background. I’d love to see this in print. The entire crew, model included, came into the cafe for lunch while I was there. She had on a long shirt, tights and shoes that resembled army boots–the longest, thinnest legs I’ve ever seen. I left before she got her food. I was sorry afterward; I would have liked to see what she ate. The first thing she did was go outside for a smoke. This is another costume change, to be shot outdoors. I didn’t hang around.Library_5253

The have a lot of outdoor sculpture and a special, small garden that had these small sculptures in cages, kind of like a zoo. Library_5235
The gardeners were playing cards hidden behind a bush in the small garden. Library_5237
This is what the museum looks like–nothing like the other buildings in the park.Library_5234

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Finally, the sphinx guarding the entry.Library_5255

I went back to the Yerba Buena Garden and stopped at icebee, a self serve frozen yogurt shop. I think I tried six different flavors, all for $2.79. Wish I had one of those here. Robin’s meeting was at the Muscone Center, next to the garden. I hung out watching sea gulls drink in the fountain, Library_5256
then met her to go to Greens for our last dinner in San Francisco. We wanted to taste as much as possible so we shared a wilted spinach salad, fresh pea ravioli and an artichoke and portobello quiche with sides of polenta and broccoli rabe. A great finish to a good week.

Tuesday and Wednesday in SF

Tuesday morning on my way to the Asian Art Museum, I stopped at the
Public Library. Loved the place. They had an exhibit of student work
that gave me an idea about how to handle the tunnel book I’ve been
mulling over for the last year. There were lots of books, lots of
computers for patron use, interesting sculpture. A special room, the
Chinese Center had books in both English and Chinese, many with
wonderful Chinese paintings.

On to the Asian Art Museum, across the plaza. A huge exhibit of
Japanese prints had just ended, much to my regret. I started to walk
around the museum as they recommend in their guide, from the top down,
and realized it was just like the Asian art survey course I took last
summer. A tour of the Korean and Japanese areas was offered at 1 pm,
and I was the only person who showed up for it. I had a lovely visit
with the docent. found out lots of things about the museum and a little
more about Korean and Japanese art. The most interesting thing she told
me was that the museum wanted to double their space; they were easily
able to show twice as many objects. I hope they succeed in their
efforts while I am still able to come and see their collections.

I tried to get back to the hotel every afternoon to rest up a bit
and to do my leg exercises. Then I walked up Grant Street to City
Lights Bookstore. That was one of my favorite places when we
lived in California. I didn’t really remember it, but I loved all the
books. Grant Street is all honky tonk Chinatown: lots of junk for sale.
At one time it was enthralling to me; now I’ve seen too much. But it
was a beautiful day, the entire week was beautiful. I enjoyed the walk.

Wednesday was the day: walk across the Golden Gate Bridge. This is
the third major bridge I’ve now walked across, joining the Brooklyn
Bridge and the George Washington Bridge. I think I can do one more in
New York: the Manhattan Bridge. I have to find more, the requirement
being the bridge has to be more than a mile long. Golden Gate is 1.7
miles, according to the tourist office. I had neglected to ask what I
would find when I got to the other side. How would I return. I wanted
to take the ferry from Sausalito, but the end of the bridge is not
walking distance from Sausalito. Finally found out where I could get a
bus, which arrived after about a 45 minute wait. I had ice cream for
lunch in Sausalito, got on the ferry, saw the other side of Alcatraz
and had coffee in the ferry terminal back in SF. Here is a slide show of my walk on the bridge.

Travel tales

My love affair with California began when I was 19–true puppy love. In
1953 I spent a great 3 weeks with aunts, uncles and cousins in Los
Angeles. I loved the weather; I loved the sights; I loved the
celebrities I almost met; I loved all the special treatment I got as a
guest. That was the beginning. My honeymoon, in 1955, was a five week
road trip to Las Vegas, Los Angeles, San Francisco and brief stops in
other fantastic places. Again a wonderful experience. Although I loved
San Francisco I found it somewhat uncomfortable; women were still
wearing hats and white gloves in public. Inspired by all that love and
sunshine we moved to Sunnyvale, 40 miles south of San Francisco, in
1957; slowly, as with most love affairs, reality began to set in.
Sunnyvale was not San Francisco, which continued to have great appeal
for me, even though I felt moderately inadequate because the hat and
white glove thing was still de rigueur.  We moved back
to Chicago 2 years later, and I’ve returned to San Francisco many times. I
enjoy visiting here, but I must confess the love affair ended years ago
— only a bit of nostalgia remains.

Robin has a meeting here in May, every year. I came with her two
years ago after an absence of many years. When we came to SF in the
past I always felt the entire city was on an endless holiday, even
people who lived and worked here. Two years ago I realized that was no
longer the case. Non-tourist people here seem just as tense and
stressed as they do in New York, but without the amazing energy that
typifies New Yorkers. Maybe I was naive years ago, but this was before
the area south of Market Street was cleaned up and gentrified, and
before the homeless people were all over the tourist areas of the city, and before the cost of living was so astronomical.
But enough complaining. I’m having a good time — it’s just not the
same.

We flew out here late Sunday and were blown over by the hotel: talk
about over-the-top decor. The first thing was this fountain with the
rubber ducks.

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I never took pictures of the lobby; I didn’t know where
to begin. This is the hallway.

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One wall of our room: note the zebra
stripe headboards and the bunny ear pillows.Library_5102

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The other three walls of the room are white, mercifully.

Down the
street from the hotel and unavoidable was Farinelli Antiques and Fine
Arts. Library_5174
I kept wondering who buys this stuff and what would you do with
it.

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The lions were moved inside every night. Library_5173
I was hoping to witness
the moving procedure but was always too early or too late.

The hotel is just outside the Chinatown gate. I went into Chinatown
Monday morning looking for dim sum breakfast and finally found one
place just opening that advertised "all you can eat" dim sum for $5.99.
The best way to have dim sum is to share with at least three other
people; dishes always come with three or four pieces. This time I was
able to choose just one or two of each kind, so I had a nice selection.
The proprietor was very nice; kept urging me to have more. When I
begged off he told me to come back and it would be free — I obviously
didn’t eat enough.

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I walked down Jackson Library_5079
toward the TransAmerica building and found TransAmerica Park, a lovely respite amid all the tall buildings. Library_5084

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Here are some of the buildings I particularly liked. I think SF does a fine job of integrating new with the old.Library_5082

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Then I went out to the Mission District. Somehow, I had gotten the
impression, probably from the internet, there would be a Cinco de Mayo
celebration, this being the fifth of May. No celebration, but an
interesting place to walk around. Library_5101

Mission Dolores is a beautiful place.
I was amazed to find a Lutheran church and a synagogue on opposite
corners — a sacred intersection.

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For lunch I had a Guatemalan taco
from a street vendor at 16th and Mission. Good stuff: I should have had
two of them. Also found a great fabric shop. Maybe people here still
sew; they don’t seem to in Pittsburgh.

I took 178 photos in my week in San Francisco. Be prepared for lots more to come.