I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day. I had such a difficult, conflict-filled relationship with my mother, I don’t feel I want to continue any celebration. I was a dutiful daughter; I called her, sent presents, went to see her. I always felt extremely hypocritical.
I was determined my relationship with my daughter would be different, and it is. I know that I have an important place in her life; I don’t need a Mother’s Day card. One small example, tomorrow she is taking me to San Francisco. She goes to a conference and I can do my own thing. What more could I ask for?
My mother would never do anything with me, except possibly help me in the kitchen. And these joint ventures were always filled with "suggestions," even after I had been married 20 years. I think that was the only way she could communicate.
One of the good things about getting older is that I have lost most of my anger about her. I can acknowledge she did the only things she knew how to do; she was not mean. The pity is that we both lost out by her inability to grow and move out of the "prison-home" she created for herself.